Too fat, too skinny, too old, too hairy, too wrinkled, too normal? Stop Body shaming! This negative self-talk about our bodies is an unfortunate phenomenon of modern times. Every time we talk or think negatively about our own body or someone else's body we are spreading negative contracting energy. We forget that our body is one of the most precious tools we have - a genius, a complex and reliable organism that relentlessly performs its service for us, day and night. And sadly with the rise of social media, body shaming has become more common. Body shaming is generally referred to as the act or practice of expressing humiliation about another person's body shape or size; a form of bullying that can lead to serious emotional distress at any age.
"We are our own worst judges" is a common phrase we often use to describe when we are too hard on ourselves. We are often more willing to listen to our intellect than to trust our body... We follow our intellect without hesitation and spend time listening to its false stories, guesses, its and its judgments. When it comes to thinking about our physical bodies we easily let our intellect dictate our own perceptions. Our biases easily make us forget that our own thoughts are shaped by our social structures and environments. The intellect consumes and projects some unrealistic ideals onto the body. The mass media has frequently portrayed overweight individuals as running gags, leading to the manifestation of low self-esteem. And I don't need to explain how the distractive force of low self-esteem hinders our abilities to live a purpose-driven life both at home and at work.
For most individuals, it is a natural urge to always be improving, going faster, and being stronger and I believe we are born with a blueprint for thriving and flourishing. That's okay to some extent because it spurs us on to become better at the things that are important to us. But what is the use of criticising things that we cannot change? Does it help us or does it just hurt us?
However, when it turns into an obsession to always be superior - this can have serious consequences in many areas of our lives. We judge other people's bodies. Often times we are very critical of ourselves. We criticise our body that is working day and night for us - the house of our soul that we should feel grateful for and be happy about!
The most harmful of all is Self-shaming. Being conditioned with external body judgment, a person will then internalise it and turn into their own tyrant, quietly mocking and abusing themselves as being fat, ugly, and rotten.
We are our own biggest judges. Body shaming is such a form of criticism, where we question our permission of being the way we are.
Although we should know better, the common ideal of beauty is still: slim, sexy, and flawless. But there is a counter-movement called "Body Positivity", which advocates more self-love and connecting with the self-trust we were born with! It advocates that every "body" is beautiful just as it is and is an amazing system created by nature! Beautiful and perfect for what it is.
After seeing many clients struggle with the lack of inner self-trust, I have decided to develop the Core Confidence program, whose purpose is to make you centered, balanced, clear, calm, and confident from the inside. This is the most profound and gentle way that I have discovered to help you access your innate blueprint of inner power, self-trust, calmness, clarity, resilience, and emotional stability. Because Core Confidence has an impact not only on your relationships but your health, wealth, success, and most importantly, your sense of happiness and life-fulfillment!
Learn more about how you can cultivate self-trust and live your life from a place of authenticity, unconditionally accept yourself and love your body instead of fighting your fat rolls, stretch marks, scars, or wrinkles.
Too fat, too skinny, too wrinkled?
Body shaming often affects people who are overweight. This "fat-shaming" can lead men and women, young or old to despise their bodies. The pressure to meet the "ideal" often leads to eating disorders, self-hatred, and even suicidal thoughts.
But even skinny women and athletes are being confronted with this. Males are not immune to hostility of this kind either. The World-class gymnast Simone Biles who won four gold medals responded confidently to her haters on Twitter: "You can judge my body all you want, but at the end of the day it's MY BODY. I love it and I feel comfortable in my skin". It received 26,565 "likes". A sign that respecting and loving yourself is a crucial element of self-trust is the most fulfilling thing.
Celebrities are not immune to this either. An actress Carrie Fisher was only 21 years old when she first starred as Princess Leia in the "Star Wars". Gaining fame, she was adored by men and women. Flash ahead four decades, and Fisher reappears in the most recent "Star Wars" movie again, only to be instantly criticised for her looks - because she dared to grow old over the four decades. "Please stop debating whether I've aged well," Fisher tweeted on offending comments. “I’m in a business where the only thing that matters is weight and appearance. This is so messed up.”
Other stars around the world are also setting the tone to stop body shaming. Ashley Graham, the very famous plus-size model, graced the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated as a curvy woman for the first time last year, defying the industry's skinny ideal.
Even the Barbie doll has received a more realistic look from the manufacturer: from now on, the dolls will be available with realistic body proportions in curvy, tall, and short, which is meant to represent the diversity of different body shapes.
The feminist movement of Connie Sobczak and Elizabeth Scott aims to strengthen the self-confidence of those women who question their bodies or their weight in order to enable them to live happier, healthier lives.
These are all examples of the movement against discrimination of supposedly imperfect bodies in society. Instead, we are finally learning to focus on cultivating innate self-trust, re-connect with the Core Confidence we were born with.
To learn to cultivate your innate self-trust and love yourself - that's the way to do it!
Loving yourself is not the easiest thing to do. Calming your inner critic, your mind chatter neither. Nevertheless, we all agree that we should not be so harsh on ourselves - especially when it comes to our looks. Certainly, self-doubt, shame, and rejection cannot be eradicated overnight.
You want to feel confident in your own skin, but a part of you makes you feel ashamed of your body for whatever reasons. It's almost as if an unconscious (automatic) part of you, makes you feel this way!
And you fight against yourself...
The truth is: you can't win the war against yourself! Especially because shame, in general, has many hidden emotional drives and involves complex psychological aspects!
Body shaming is an emotional issue. You can't solve emotional problems with rational thinking, affirmations, trying to fix your mindset, discipline, or willpower.
Emotional issues need to be transformed and healed at the emotional level. Everything else is waste of time and money
Check out our tips to help you take the first step towards Core Confidence Inside Out!
Stop and observe
To stop negative self-talk is easier said than done. I agree. However, you can start noticing and observing yourself whenever you make a negative comment when you are looking at yourself in the mirror. Every time you tell yourself that you have weak arms or that your tummy is too fat, the more you will feel bad about yourself, your self-confidence goes south.
The very first step is to be aware of your thinking and if you say something you wouldn't say out loud to one of your closest friends, stop and observe your own thoughts and listen to your mind chatter. You know your inner critic is telling you a false story again. Just listen, you don't have to believe it.
Be kind to yourself
Very few people stand stark naked in front of the mirror and are absolutely 100% pleased with themselves. Start in small steps! Find out what you like best about your body. Maybe it's your green eyes, your navel, your lips, your freckles, or your nails? Keep reminding yourself how beautiful that part of your body, emphasise it, and highlight its specialness. Getting enough movement is important for us and our well-being. But what's the point of taking out expensive gym subscriptions if you end up not going? Don't torture yourself on unloved treadmills if it frustrates you. Find a sport that you enjoy. Try yoga or cycling. Even a long walk can revive your spirits and make you feel good about your body.
Stop judging others
Regardless of what kind of bodies you see in the supermarket or at the gym, try not to judge them, even in your head. Our world is full of every shape and size, and often people can't control the type of body they were actually born with. As you allow everyone to be themselves, you will also feel more at ease with your own imperfections. Also, this advice is easier said than done. I know. Often time, we judge others automatically, before we even realise it.
But you can observe yourself doing it. Awareness is the first step.
Enjoy your food
Dieting is poison for our bodies. They rarely lead to lasting success and even more rarely make us happy. Therefore, try not to torture your body with strict diet plans or prohibitions, but to eat with pleasure. Enjoy your meals and allow yourself time to eat. Eat healthy, moderate, varied, and what your body desires. Give it sweets or fatty foods sometimes - without a guilty feeling.
Feeling well in your skin is not just a saying; there is a lot of truth in the expression. The skin is our largest organ and needs to be cared for. Pause, relax, have sex. Making love creates a good connection to your body, orgasms release happy hormones and your general wellbeing is increased.
Accept the signs of your experience
Your body is like a visible reminder of your experience and past events in your life - both good and bad. Do you have scars on your skin after surgery? They are a reminder of you and a moment in which you were particularly resilient! Do you have the tattoo from the past? They were also a conscious brave decision - and the right one at the time.
HOW TO ACCESS INNER SELF-TRUST AT THE DEEPEST MENTAL LEVEL.
Changing your relationship with your body by forcing happy thoughts and affirmations doesn’t work in the long term, because these methods are at the conscious level and have a narrow focus of about 5% of our mental capacity.
Being human beings, we are hardwired to avoid defeat, but we are also hardwired to go towards pleasure and away from pain. This situation leads to inner conflict and associates with pain and discomfort. Do you want that? Of course not. Once you’ve had enough of the frustration, you will eventually give up and give in to your cravings! It can be a vicious cycle that is capable of eroding your self-esteem and confidence.
Our relationship with our body is based on many hidden emotional drives and involves complex psychological aspects which operate at a deeper level. So, if we become able to tap into that other 95% of our internal resources and make the change at that deep unconscious level, there's no struggle.
It means when you rewire your feelings of shame at the unconscious level, there is no need to use willpower to try to compel yourself to be the way you want to be. Instead, it can just happen naturally and automatically. Your unconscious system is working 24/7 for you in the background. It keeps track of twenty million bits of information per second, which includes your breath, blood circulation, nail growth, and everything else. This process happens automatically without your conscious awareness because it is naturally programmed that way.
So, you can let your unconscious mind manage a healthy lifestyle for you without consciously trying to force yourself. Without self-restrictions. Without diets or affirmations that don't work anyway!. No more fighting with yourself. Just an easy congruent healthy lifestyle, intuitive supportive loving thoughts, and a happy body that you are proud of.
SAY GOODBYE TO SELF-RESTRICTIONS!
Say goodbye to self-restrictions and affirmations and rewire a healthy relationship with your body naturally and with ease. The truth is that inner self-trust doesn’t start with your decision in your head but has its roots at an unconscious automatic level.
Transformative sessions with me will surely help you find or regain your inner self-trust, emotional balance, purpose, and fun. They will reduce stress at the deepest level and cultivate your mental and emotional stability. This stability is the foundation of meaningful growth and fulfilling life.
I believe that we were born with a innate self-trust and loving relationship towards our body!
Transformative Inside-out Coaching with me works on the principle that we are all born with a blueprint for natural motivation to thrive & well-being and I believe that we were born with an innate self-trust and loving relationship towards our body. This phenomenon is evident in small children - they eat when they are hungry. They stop eating when they feel full. They have a healthy weight and are comfortable with their skin. And that’s how you were once too!
But somehow, along the way, a part of us developed these destructive thoughts and negative beliefs about our bodies when coping with some specific difficulty in life. But this old coping mechanism doesn't serve us anymore! So, let me help you rewire it once and for all!
As an Unconscious Mind and a certified Core Transformation® Coach, I've helped many people to rewire once and for all at the deepest level, and they were able to transition gently to a healthy lifestyle.
In individual 1:1 sessions, I will guide you step-by-step through the transformative process and help you rewire for healthy habits and supportive thoughts, so you can shift your relationship with your body - forever.
You'll become a master of your inner and mental resources. You'll be able to explore and transform unwanted limiting beliefs, thoughts, and behaviours. That's why, when you ally with your unconscious mind to achieve your goal, you can easily choose to live a new, healthy lifestyle.
A DESTRUCTIVE RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR BODY LEADS TO INNER CONFLICT AND MORE FRUSTRATION...
Unfortunately, a destructive relationship with your body costs you very high... I have worked with people who were desperate about their body image. Their confidence and lives were compromised, and they feel ashamed of their bodies.
For example, an overweight woman said, "I don't have a partner because I hate my body," and a man said, "I don't ask for a promotion because I think people look at me thinking I'm weak because I can't control my weight." These negative thoughts are far from being true!
However, going through such inner conflicts can be one of the most overwhelming and frustrating phases of life, which leads to poor performance, worries, delay in achieving goals, dissatisfaction, etc...
This inner dialogue creates a negative spiral of being stuck and hinders your ability to live a happy life. It can also cause low self-esteem, self-doubts and can also be the underlying cause of addictions affecting your relationships and health…